You've Got to be Kidding!

I knew for about eight months that I was leaving my life as a death investigator so that I could come to California to be with the man of my dreams.  In a desperate attempt to move out to California I applied for work everywhere.  And I mean EVERYWHERE!  Pet stores, office supply stores, retail stores.  Positions that included working as a cashier, a secretary, a librarian.  I went looking for teaching positions and tutoring opportunities.  The first week that I began looking for work I bet I filled out about thirty applications online and sent out twenty letters of interest with resumes.

Sadly, I learned that because I had a midwest address, the west coast was not interested in hiring me --- or so I thought. 

Near the end of August, I came out to Sunny, Southern California (HA!  Sunny my ass!  It's done nothing but rain the last three weeks!) to visit my boyfriend.  While I was out here I used the opportunity to go door-to-door for work.  The first place I went to was one of the major pet supply retailers.  It was simple, I saw that they were advertising for full time cashiers and groomers (training provided).  I walked in with a resume, asked for the manager and left with an interview scheduled the next day.  Of course, the manager I spoke with did not like me for either of those two positions.  He did, however, take an interest in interviewing me for a store manager position.  Rock on!

Before the interview could take place, I had to fill out an online application.  No problem.  Part of the application process consisted of filling out a personality test.  The test consisted of questions like "Do you think theft is bad?  Would you embezzle if you had the chance?  Answers:  Yes and No.  Then there were questions like; "Do you like balloons?"  Which color scares you, Red or Navy?"  Basically, the test was a giant crock of shit and not one question asked actually pertained to an individual's ability to perform the required duties.  But, I took my time filling it out and submitted the application.

The next day, as I was getting dressed for my interview the store manager called.

Manager:  Um.....Allison.

Me:  Yes.

Manager:  When you filled out that online application....was there some kind of test for you to  
                                take....like a personality test.

Me:  I think so.

Manager:  But there were a bunch of questions at the end of the application.

Me:  Yeah.  Close to a hundred I think.

Silence.

More silence. 

I really don't like silence.

Manager:  Well....the thing is.....you didn't pass the personality test.

Huh?

Me:   Huh?

Manager:  Yeah.....you have to pass the personality test in order to be interviewed and I can't override the system.

Me (very confused):  So....what does that mean?

Manager:  I can't interview you because you didn't pass the personality test. 

WHAT!

Me:  Okay.

Manager:  I'm sorry.  I don't know what to tell you.

OH MY GOD!  I suck!  I completely suck!

Me:   Well.  Thank you for your time and the opportunity.

I can't believe I didn't pass a personality test.  Serial killers can pass....why can't I pass? Stupid personality test.

Needless to say.....I will not be working for that pet supply store anytime....EVER!

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